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I think one thing you can do to help your friends who are depressed is to reach out to them not in the spirit of helping, but in the spirit of liking them and wanting their company. “I’m here to help if you ever need me” is good to know, but hard to act on, especially when you’re in a dark place. Specific, ongoing, pleasure-based invitations are much easier to absorb. “I’m here. Let’s go to the movies. Or stay in and order takeout and watch some dumb TV.” “I’m having a party, it would be really great if you could come for a little while.” Ask them for help with things you know they are good at and like doing, so there is reciprocity and a way for them to contribute. “Will you come over Sunday and help me clear my closet of unfashionable and unflattering items? I trust your eye.” “Will you read this story I wrote and help me fix the dialogue?” “Want to make dinner together? You chop, I’ll assemble.” “I am going glasses shopping and I need another set of eyes.” Remind yourself why you like this person, and in the process, remind them that they are likable and worth your time and interest.

Talk to the parts of the person that aren’t being eaten by the depression. Make it as easy as possible to make and keep plans, if you have the emotional resources to be the initiator and to meet your friends a little more than halfway. If the person turns down a bunch of invitations in a row because (presumably) they don’t have the energy to be social, respect their autonomy by giving it a month or two and then try again. Keep the invitations simple; “Any chance we could have breakfast Saturday?” > “ARE YOU AVOIDING ME BECAUSE YOU’RE DEPRESSED OR BECAUSE YOU HATE ME I AM ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOU.” “I miss you and I want to see you” > “I’m worried about you.” A depressed person is going to have a shame spiral about how their shame is making them avoid you and how that’s giving them more shame, which is making them avoid you no matter what you do. No need for you to call attention to it. Just keep asking. “I want to see you” “Let’s do this thing.” “If you are feeling low, I understand, and I don’t want to impose on you, but I miss your face. Please come have coffee with me.” “Apology accepted. ApologIES accepted. So. Gelato and Outlander?”

#613: How do I reach out to my friends who have depression? | Captain Awkward

P.S. A lot of people with depression and other mental illnesses have trouble making decisions or choosing from a bunch of different options. “Wanna get dinner at that pizza place on Tuesday night?” is a LOT easier to answer than “So wanna hang out sometime? What do you want to do?”

(via startrekrenegades)

SUPER GREAT ADVICE.

(via rainbowrowell)

(via rainbowrowell)

secretdirtygrl:

Time Stacks by Matt Molloy

Beauty in nature

(Source: mstrkrftz, via marykatewiles)

lorigoldsteinbooks:

On the street in NYC. LOVE.

lorigoldsteinbooks:

On the street in NYC. LOVE.

(via rainbowrowell)

"Hiccup and Toothless have been out there mapping the world. They have taken that viking map and they’ve been adding pieces to it in every direction." (x)

(Source: robert-downey-junior, via straighton--tilmorning)

You must learn her.

You must know the reason why she is silent. You must trace her weakest spots. You must write to her. You must remind her that you are there. You must know how long it takes for her to give up. You must be there to hold her when she is about to.

You must love her because many have tried and failed. And she wants to know that she is worthy to be loved, that she is worthy to be kept.

And, this is how you keep her.


This is How you Lose Her, Junot Diaz  (via blackbruise)

(via vauserepublic)

(Source: jeffreyandme, via berengia)

Could it be something as simple as this?

(Source: bearticeprior, via tied-together-with-a-bow)

theweniswarmer:

4gifs:

Cat & lynx BFF. [video]

FELINE FACT. The housecat is licking the Lynx’s head, and in turn, the Lynx licks the cat’s shoulder. This symbolizes that the Lynx acknowledges the house cat as it’s “superior” in a Pride sense. So basically the Lynx is a nerd and looks up to the housecat as a real cool kid.

theweniswarmer:

4gifs:

Cat & lynx BFF. [video]

FELINE FACT. The housecat is licking the Lynx’s head, and in turn, the Lynx licks the cat’s shoulder. This symbolizes that the Lynx acknowledges the house cat as it’s “superior” in a Pride sense. So basically the Lynx is a nerd and looks up to the housecat as a real cool kid.

(Source: ForGIFs.com, via tied-together-with-a-bow)

…you are what you were but what you were is not mine. What is mine is what you are right now.

kvotheunkvothe:

crowleyslittleminion:

haeinsa:

rylutz:

Nature; the most beautiful and serene is often the most ruthless and destructive

indeed

Go home, Thor. You’re drunk.

NAY

(Source: stars-in-streams, via littlefaeriegrrl)